TripleMoonStar Jewellery Designs

Understand me..

2012-01-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

Depression. Just that alone is enough for one person to deal with and live with. I know how the mind plays tricks. I know when the voices start, that it's time I visited my Psych Team. The mere thought of that fills me with dread. I envisage, packets of Anti Psych Drugs. I cannot abide those types of drugs in fact I've argued and pleaded my case many times to my Psych Team to be able to prove that I fair better without Anti Psych Drugs. I've used my creativity to 'medicate' my madness. I managed almost five years without a full blown episode. Well, now the depressive episode now has me in its grips. Raging black moods, irrational thoughts and feelings. Outspoken words whilst in the grips of hell, which some I'm not aware, or I've even said. I don't suppose you can expect those that don't live it to fully understand. However, there is always compassion. Something devoid in the maternal part of my estranged family. Yet I'm ridiculed by those less fortunate, with the thinking capacity of an amoeba. Laughed at by those who want to see me hurt and pay. Poked fun at by those who are a little unstable themselves. Oh how the high and mighty will fall.

Over the last few weeks I've struggled and battled with the ideation of suicide. That would make it all better wouldn't it? No? oh yes that's right, my suicide would leave my children without their mother. My husband without his wife. Would the torment end? Or would it continue? I don't know.

I feel that exquisite moment approaching. That point of no return. Even the thoughts are frightening. It will be end all the pain and suffering that you THINK I deserve. You think I blame every aspect of my life on illnesses. I'd expect that from someone who's insensitive, lacking in any real true emotion other than anger and rage.

It's like being in a dark hole wondering how the hell you got there. It's sticky in there with all your raw emotions for company. Flicking through happy times overpowered by memories of arguments and cruel words. It's a heavy numbness, with the false nothingness within the mind. It is that precise moment when you make your descision to end it all or even try. There is a calm fear that buzzes through your body as your blood pumps around your vital organs. Then you wait for the blanket of darkness to snuggle you into comfort.

It says something that the final moments that you feel at ease with a blanket of darkness while the movie plays through your mind of happy times and sad times. The tears sting your cheeks and they roll and collect momentum. Soon, you're swimming in a sea of salty tears and yet you still wait for peace to come. It never does come, because you are dead and you cannot feel peace. You feel nothing. The only ones feeling are the ones left behind to pick up the pieces. Death is very final, in the search for peace and quiet it is final. Is that what you really want? No? you want me to live and suffer. Here's the thing, everyday I suffer. I've been diagnosed with the following.

Bipolar Dx2003
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
Schizophrenia Dx2003
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
DID Dissociative Identity Disorder Dx2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder Dx1997
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Fibromyalgia Syndrome Dx2004
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

As this is a syndrome, also includes the following
Allodynia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allodynia
IBS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irritable_bowel_syndrome
Bladder Problems
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstitial_cystitis
Muscle Spasms
Muscle Weakness
Muscle Pain
Nerve Pain
Temporomandibular Joint Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporomandibular_joint_disorder
Bruxism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruxism
Trigeminal Neuralgia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_neuralgia
Myoclonus twitches
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myoclonus
Paresthesia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paresthesia
Hypoglycemia
Borderline Diabetic
Cognitive Memory Impairment
Prolapsed Disc Dx2009

Yes, my children will miss me. My husband will miss me. My Mum and Dad will miss me. My MIL and FIL will miss me. My friends will miss me.

Stigmatic Opprobrium

2011-12-27T05:21:00.000-08:00

Evil, Vile, Obnoxious, Toxic, Nasty, Vicious, Dishonour, Slur, Scandalous, Contempt, Aggression, Disapprove, Scum, Shameful, Vulgar, Hateful, Disrepute, Tarnish, Blemish, Aspersions, Demonic, Belittle, Slander, Abuse, Poison, Abasement, Ostracise, Scornful, Ignominy, Malignant, Reproof, Smear, Repugnant, Maladjusted, Loathsome, Object, Blame, Fail, Vilification, Carping, Insignificance....I'm all those things aren't I?

Shannon, you're right. So very right. x

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside..

2011-11-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

Life has taken a big dive. I'm in the depressive side of my Bipolar. It's been a long time since I've had a full blown episode. I'm unable to work like I was. I spent most of my days in a dark room and this feels safe to me. I don't want to go out anywhere unless I can help it. I don't want to talk to people except my husband, my best friend and the one person I can wholeheartedly trust.

Everything that has happened over the past three years has hit me like a ten ton truck. I lost my Mum and my Sister. They think I'm a monster I'm sure. I am sorry things have turned out the way they have. My sister thinks she is right. I know she isn't. She doesn't know, nor will she ever know how Dad feels. That is your loss. My mother is probably being manipulated into what she thinks is what she thinks. Weak, yet no one truly understands how it feels to be abused as a child as like another Survivor.

There are three innocent children here who have lost a Grandmother, Auntie, Cousins. There is a big void in my life where they lived.

I've come to the conclusion now that people do come and go throughout your life and there is a reason they are there and it's to teach you what is acceptable and what isn't. Some stay and some go. Some go with blessings and some go under a cloud.

Recently I fell out with someone, who I though I could trust and rely on. Mostly it was a good friendship. She used to let me down and usually at the last minute. I let it go a few times but I never forgot it. This happened more often towards the end of the friendship. I just got to the stage where I thought you know what my time is precious and I will not spend it chasing after flaky mates. This friend once told me that she hadn't had a proper diagnosis for her illness. She said that the consultant said it maybe *not certain* a particular illness. Now, why would someone say that? You either get a diagnosis or you dont? You know who you are. You let me down many times, for me to continue to be friends with you. The argument we had was unnescessary really and I am sorry for that. I will never forgive you for dishing out my private and mobile telephone numbers to your father who threatened me. What are you? Five? Your antics online made me question who you truly was as a person. You know what I'm talking about. Messing with someone's husband is not on! I didn't know what to believe. I mean was it really true??

I am a good person. I know I tried my best and do try my best with everything that I do. My life is difficult enough without all that playground stuff to deal with.

I have a handful of good friends in my life. I know this because when I speak to them it's like we carry on as we left off and visa versa. True Friends dont drop you like a hot potato because a better offer comes along. I cannot stand behaviour like that.

I've been on Venlafaxine for just over a month now, it's making me feel so sick. It was really bad in the beginning. Now it's calming down a bit. My moods are still all over the shop. I'm not sure if I'll stay on this drug for long. We will see. I don't tend to get along with sorts of drugs as they can trigger Mania. This has happened before with drugs like Prozac and Seroxat. I'm not so keen on the Brain Shocks either.

So, I shall keep plodding on...

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

2011-06-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

I am a Spoonie! This is the perfect way to explain Chronic Illness. I find it offensive when people laugh and joke and say " Is there anything else that is wrong with you? " Oh HAHAHA! sure because I wake up every single day thinking what can I discover today that doesn't work with my body. Forget about the level of pain I'm in. I did not ask or deserve this condition so please don't patronise me with your ignorant comments. I had a car accident in 1997 and had severe whiplash injury as a result of being shunt by a 4X4 into oncoming traffic by some bint on her mobile phone and on Daddy's insurance. There is a significant link with Whiplash injury and Fibromyalgia. Lots of articles on the web available to read. My Rheumatologist said there is a genetic link also. My Cousins suffers with Fibromyalgia and another Cousin has the symptoms from both sides of the Family. So excuse me for having many symptoms, severe pain, allergies, IBS etc...how about a little compassion..

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started yet. I’ve wanted more "spoons" for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said " No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can't take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too." I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s "spoons", but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less "spoons". I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on "spoons", because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day's plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count "spoons".

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my "spoons".

© 2003 by Christine Miserandino Butyoudontlooksick.com

Rocky Horror Party

2011-05-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

We only do this sort of thing on a weekend lol..only joking I wish! After receiving our invite to a Rocky Horror Show Party, great I thought then eek! What am I to wear? Doing a Kaye as per usual leaving things to the very last minute shopped in lots of Lingerie shops yesterday in the hope of finding a suitable outfit for the Party. Finally after two trips into town 'we' (husband and I) found our wears, wigs etc. While I adore the Rocky Horror Show, I'm self conscious of my voluptuous shape, so I found the whole shopping experience such a giggle.

Here is my husband and I, or should I say Magenta and Frank-n-Furter

We walked through the village, while drivers rubbernecked as they pasted haha! We made many folk smile on the way to the shindig! Thank you C & J for a fabulous evening. Perhaps next time it should be Super Hero's

Copper Cored Pandora Beads.

2011-05-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ahh it's that time again, lots of craft fairs and local sales coming up..I've worn myself again working like a machine. I've been coring Pandora or Big Hole Beads in Copper. I think they look fantastic. The copper doesn't touch the skin but will eventually oxidise into a warm coppery hue. I love the contrast against the Sterling silver.

Persian Jewels Pandora Beads - available in my Folksy Store from £6

I've been trying out fabulous new glass. Canyon De Chelly is difficult but once you get the hang of it and how to handle the glass it's super cool!

Canyon de chelly cored in Copper.

Pretty Copper Green Glass and Red Copper Green

Copper Green Glass, Moss Agate, Canyon De Chelly and Red Copper Green

I'm still learning with the double helix so here is some purples with some Psyche DH

I have hundreds more photos so if you'd like to see more join me at https://www.facebook.com/pages/TripleMoonStar-Jewellery/90817749656?ref=ts

Laters - Kaye
x

The Winner is?! ....

2011-05-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

Winner is Janis Smith. Well done please let me know if you wish to recieve the earrings or the beads. x

Free Prize Draw

2011-04-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post for a free prize draw.

Entry requirements:

You must be a liker of my fanpage on facebook here:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/TripleMoonStar-Jewellery/90817749656?ref=ts

You must put your name in the comment box down below. If you cannot do this, contact me on mahzhah@triplemoonstar.co.uk and I will enter it for you.

All the entries listed below will be entered into the free prize draw and you will have a choice of prize. My fanpage is full of people who appreciate Jewellery, and Beads. So you will have the choice of a piece of Jewellery or a Bead set. Created by me.

I will draw out the winner on the 4th May 2011. So you have one week to invite your friends and family to my fanpage on facebook. The winner will be announced on this blog and on my fanpage Triplemoonstar Jewellery. Good Luck! Mwah! x

Here is the bead set available for the winner

Potty Pinks Lampwork Bead Set SRA L-96

Here is the Jewellery availble for the winner

Gemma Earrings on Solid Brass with Olive Green Swarovski Crystals and Gemma Lampwork Beads SRA L-96

Best of Luck people - Kaye x

Silent Sunday

2011-04-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

Beaded Jewellery

2011-04-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been inspired to make some beaded jewellery. After our family trip to Centre Parcs and seeing the jewellery ranges they have there I came home wanting to start work. Unfortunately I've been struck down with a flu-like virus that put me in bed for six days. In that time I read five books by the author Gerry Barlett. Thank the gods for my Kindle!

So here are my lastest pieces. Using my own Lampwork Beads, AAA Grade Crystal and Swarovski. I've been asked by alot of people to do pieces in Copper and Brass so here it is.

Boadica Bracelet in Solid Copper and Kilo-Lemur Lampwork beads.

Boadica Bracelet in Solid Copper and Kilo-Lemur Lampwork Beads

I'm in the Zone now so here are some more of my work, another lampwork beaded charm bracelet Victoriana Rose. In solid Brass with my own lampwork beads and Swarovski Crystals and AAA grade Crystals.

Victoriana Rose Bracelet

Some more beaded work, Lariats and necklaces. Using my own lampwork beads.

Lillyella Lariat in Turquoise Leather and Solid Copper. With my own Lampwork Beads and handmade findings.

Lillyella Lariat Necklace

Here is another one, a necklace in Pink.

Gloriana Necklace, using my own lampwork beads and various other beads in Wood, Lucite and porcelain. Together with solid brass charms.

Gloriana necklace

I saw some fantastic pieces of work at Centre Parcs in wood so I though I'd use some wood in my beaded pieces of work. The next one is Briana, using wood, my own lampwork beads, AAA Grade Crystals in Topaz, Citrine with cute Brass charms.

Briana Necklace

Brianna Necklace

There will be much more coming. In Greens, Purples, Silver, Browns. Why don't you check out my Triplemoonstar page to see up to date pieces of work click on this link http://www.facebook.com/pages/TripleMoonStar-Jewellery/90817749656?ref=ts

More from my new range

2011-03-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

Celeste Collection. Handmade Lampwork Beads.

I've just created the Celeste Collection, also a commission for one of my clients. In solid Antique Brass. Using muted colours inspired by todays fashions, muted colours and classic combinations.

Celeste Collection. Handmade Lampwork Beads.

It's been a busy week, trying to catch up with commissions. I'm done in. I'm working on some new ideas involving precious metals, heavily oxidised silver and diamonds with some found objects or keepsakes set in resin. So watch this space folks.

I'm really pleased things are starting to come together. I will start taking commissions again soon so if you'd like anything creating just drop me a line at mahzhah@triplemoonstar.co.uk

Slowly easing back into work..

2011-02-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

Those that know me may laugh at that. Nothing slow about me I have two speeds fast and stop. I've been recouperating after suffering a prolapsed disc in my back. Trying to catch up with work and commissions.
I'm bringing out a new range of Jewellery. Antiqued Brass Jewellery. I've been asked so many times to do antique style. Price of the chain is on par with Sterling Silver but at least I know it's not plated it's solid brass.

These are my Olivia Earrings. You may see a blue-green shimmer on the glass. That is because I've used Silvered Glass on the bead and then reduced it in a propane rich flame which gives that metalised look and in this case it leaves a look that would you see on oil and water mixed together.

This is the matching necklace to the earrings. I've also made a feature of the pretty clasp in this piece.

Unique Sepia Focal Bead wrapped in silver and double helix Triton, available in my folksy store. More of these will be listed soon.

Carousel lampwork bead set, available on my folksy store. Keep a look out for more bright colours coming in. Also the pastels :)

Organic Peacock Lampwork bead set, these are sold for a commission piece. Look out for more of my organice style beads.

Silvered Champagne Lampwork bead set, available on my folksy store. These stunning and very classy. It's really difficult to capture the beauty of the beads in a photograph. As one of my clients yesterday saw all my beads in the flesh and mentioned that. :)

Yesterday I bought a wine rack to house my huge collection of glass. Before I had all my glass stored in large glass vases and could never see my whole collection. I have discovered some yummy glass to try out. When I first started this Tuffnell Glass sent me a massive starter pack of glass and being a newbie to all this I didn't realise all the alchelmy within making beads. You can see the changes and effect before your eyes it's not only fun but fascinating too.

You might want to take a look at this blog where N features my beads and is a exceptionally talented seed beader :) http://www.hollybirdbeads.blogspot.com/

Have a great weekend folks :)

Happy New Year

2011-01-16T09:54:00.000-08:00

Lets all hope 2011 is an excellent year.
We all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Although not a huge fan of Christmas being Pagan! *rolls eyes*
Christmas these days has lost its true meaning. I find that irrevocably sad. The kids had been spoilt all year with clothes, toys, trips and holidays, so we cut back on the presents for Christmas as they simply don't need anything.

Work was so busy up to Christmas, not just online but on the market stall too. This year is going to be even more hectic with more Jewellery Parties, regular stalls and I'm back work at the magazine again after a well earned break.

I've started my Hydrotherapy this month to strengthen my core muscles which are very weak. I'm pre-diabetic so I have no choice but to lose weight. I was told by my consultant that those who have gestational diabetes during pregnancy are at a higher risk of developing the disease later on. Damn straight I had it four times!!!

I haven't done any work in the Studio this year, no not because I'm lazy, I've a prolapsed disc and on crutches again. I tried to get in there and do some work today but hurt myself climbing up onto the work station so perhaps another day. I've got some murrini from the USA that I'm going to play with. I have to design some sort of device to keep the chips warm. Check out some murrini work on this page
http://catalinaglass.blogspot.com/2010/12/murrini.html

I think it's time to put my feet up and read my kindle..ploughing my way through Anne Rice Literary Delights

Well Folks 2010 is coming to a close

2010-12-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

2011 should be a better year than this. Healthwise not so great! The Fibromyalgia is the bane of my life what can I say? Start back at the magazine January from a three month holiday and break to consider other plans. The beginning of the purpose built studio is firmly on the to do list. I'm looking at property for a store in Cambridge but as prices soar it may be on the back burner.

It's been an interesting year. I reached my 40th with ease. Family, well lets just say I'm happy with my lot. My parents have been a fantastic support as my in laws love them all dearly. They have gone that extra mile to make this year very special. I'd never had thought I'd have my own business, be a writer for a magazine in a million years. Just shows with a little inspiration, determination and a dream you can do and become anything you wish.

My apprentice will be starting soon and I'm re-opening my diary for teaching again.

I want to thank every single one of you who have helped and supported me thoughtout this year. You have all been truly amazing. Customers who have become friends. Most of all my husband, my children and my parents. Without you I would not be where I am today.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

Kaye
xxxx

Handpaint fairy silk Necklaces..

2010-12-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

Snowed under with work, battling with Fibro too. Today catching up with glass commissions. One consolation is the Xmas shopping done.

Some of my latest work

Topaz Treasures Necklace Available on my Folksy Store

Amethysta Necklace available on my Folksy Store

Ceylon Orb Necklace available on my Folksy Store

Fairy Toadstool House Beads - All Sold

Peridot Pear Necklace - Sold

Exhausted..

2010-10-25T04:36:00.000-07:00

The dreaded F is back :(

Thankfully my medication has been changed but hell it's going to be hard transition.

More tests at the Doctors and referals back to Rheummy. Hydrotherapy to look forward too. Crutches will be here soon thankfully. On a lighter note here are some pictures of my latest beads. I got 10 sets made for Spoilt Rotten. My lastest commission for Lesley.

Lesley's Flush Gem Set Ring

J'taime Bead Set

Ocean Gems Bead Set with 99.9 fine silver

freaking out!

2010-10-18T02:41:00.000-07:00

my vision has been blurred for sometime, mainly on a morning. Didn't think anything of it. On waking this morning I noticed this massive lump on my stomach as I looked at it, it burst it's a boil nice..yak! I have an unquenchable thirst these days..after talking to hubby he sugested I tested my blood sugars. I still have my blood sugar testing kits from when I was pregnant with my last child. I've had Gestational Diabetes with all my pregnancies the last one pregnancy I needed insulin.

first reading 6.7mmol/L Great! on fasting. I've done the google thing..yeah yeah bad idea but it appears I may have the start of what could be pre-diabetes. Thing is, with the Fibromyalgia it's not a good combination.

Seeing the Dr at 12.20pm today :(

I'm flaring..

2010-10-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

Day 8 of my lastest Fibro Flare up. Deep joy no wait that is Deep pain. I've trapped a nerve in my back by just sitting. The nerve pain shoots down my back into my backside and down my legs. I have a trapped nerve in my neck and that is radiating across my shoulders, down into my arms and hands and fingers. Movement is pretty much nigh on impossible. On top of that I'm day 5 into an IBS attack. Struggling to eat anything without suffering horrible pain cramps and nausea

I have flare ups roughly every 10 days. These flare ups can last from anything to 10 days up to 8weeks.

Fibromyalgia is very real even though we may look ok on the outside no one truly knows how it feels to endure this horrible syndrome unless you're a fellow sufferer.

Symptoms of Fibromyalgia:
Anxiety - stress and worry
Concentration and memory problems - known as fibro fog
Depression
Digestive disorders
Discoloration of hands and feet (Raynaud's phenomenon)
Dryness in mouth, nose, and eyes
Chronic Fatigue
Headaches - Migraines
Irritable bowel syndrome
Stiffness - not just in the mornings
Pain - Nerve Pain, Muscle Pain, Cramps, Muscle Spasms
Painful menstrual cramps
Restless legs syndrome
Muscle Twitches
Sleep problems
Swelling, numbness, burning, and tingling in hands, arms, feet, and legs
Trigger points
Urinary symptoms
TMJD Temporomandibular Joint Disorder
TN Trigeminal Neuralgia
Chemical, Food, Smells, Noise - Sensitivities
Skin Disorders

Just to mention a few, some of us have other ailments but these are the general symptoms. If you know someone who suffers with this please help raise awareness. If you don't know anyone with this condition and you meet someone with it please be gentle with us. We may look ok on the outside, there is never anything OK about Fibromyalgia it is an invisible illness. It takes over your life and you are at the mercy of your own body trapped inside a broken body.

These Glassy Pretties need new homes

2010-09-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

Fresh out of the kiln and dressed up..new editions to http://www.folksy.com/shops/Kilolemurlampwork

Newborn Beadiez from Kilo Lemur Lampwork

2010-09-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

All these are available on my folksy store http://www.folksy.com/shops/Kilolemurlampwork

Handmade Sterling Silver Lampwork Charms

2010-09-13T01:22:00.000-07:00

Teeny tiny little Glass Apple charm, created for all you Twilighters out there. These will be available in my store http://www.folksy.com/shops/Kilolemurlampwork I will be listing them today.

The fangs are for the more die hard Vamp fans these will also be availble in my store. I can do these as pendants if you wish. These are made to order so please allow up to 7 days.

Also introducing Jack from Nightmare before Xmas he is now sold I will at some point do some more.

More Beadiezz

2010-09-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

I went a little mad at the torch recently and I was inspired by the bedsit wallpaper in Ultimate Big Brother. So here are my beads

I've been playing with these patterns using Browns, Turquoises and this lush creamy coffee colour.

High Functioning Bipolar Disorder.

2010-09-01T04:05:00.000-07:00

A little brief history. I've always been a bit of loner I enjoy my time alone and also enjoy time with my loved one. I was taken to see a child psych at a young age ha! Guess what? Normal? IQ normal. yeah yeah..skip to a few years later, my home life was erm lets just say, like being on a rollercoaster. Teenage years came and off I went, into the realm of chaos, drinking, smoking, taking drugs etc. Occasionally popping back and forth between my parents. Then I had my own children and found it really difficult coming to terms the worries and dire thoughts that I had as a parent the sheer worries of my babies being hurt was often overwhelming apparently that's normal! Lets go back to my teenage years, I've been through some pretty horrendous situations which I guess lead me down the path of drug addiction? Self medicating? Several admissions to the psych wards and rehab Got married, got divorced, had a breakdown...what?! yes I had a breakdown. It was in 2003 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia *rolls eyes* I thought everyone had voices apparently not!

I've been living with Bipolar Disorder now 'officially' for seven years. When in fact I've lived with it much much longer. It's part of my make up it's who I am it's not excuse. I get really upset at people in the public eye who claim bipolar and claim they are having a bipolar day lolol! yeah yeah as if!

Anyway, it's been four years since I was on all those lovely meds. Mood Stabilisers, Anti-Psychotic Medication. Nice stuff! During this time I've been trying to control my mood swings and mania by using my creative talents and outlets. When my mood is low I take myself off to the studio and my work brings me out of the low mood and back on a normal mood level. When I'm high (Bipolar High) I take myself off to create and this stabilisers me, not to mention that I create a massive amount of pretties. I have as much regular sleep as possible, like forcing myself to bed and taking my night meds (Amitriptyline 125mg) to make me sleep otherwise I wouldn't. When the voices are bad I listen to music LOUD or I watch my favourite movies to focus my mind, lots of these tricks I've picked up over these last few years.

My Psych team have finally relented and allowed me to be responsible for my own care. I refuse to take my 'meds' as this numbs who I am, this culls my personality and *I* disappear. After four years of proving to my Psych team they now agree that I am a high functioning Bipolar type person lol I had this discussion with my Doctor who claimed that I was a mystery and that I don't fit neatly into their tick boxes. Yes I fit the criteria of BD but I am able to cope with the mood swings and the voices on a daily basis. I just told them to put down that I am special :-)

After everything that life has thrown at me I wake up with a smile.

Full of Evil-ness

2010-08-30T01:37:00.000-07:00

Ha!

I've been creating Evil Toadstools, Piggies, Owls, Penguins etc..just thought I'd share

chugging along..

2010-08-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

It appears I still have that spinney head thingie, deep joy..

Anyway, been busy working on new ideas and designs. I haven't spent much time at the torch but since Molten Glass and spinney head could result in an accident of major proportions then I think it was for the best..

Here are some of my new creations

A massive Turquoise Heart with Sterling Silver Hearts. This is available on my Folksy/Triplemoonstar shop

This is Queen Mauve Pendant. Jade, Amethyst, Rainbow Moonstone, Faceted Fluorite and Pearls. All hung on a 32inch chain this is available in my store.

These are my Faux Sea Glass Pebbles in Pinks.

More Faux Sea Glass Pebbles. These are all available in Kilo Lemur Lampwork shop of Folksy

My Skully Pendant in Sterling Silver. Check out my Kilo Lemur Lampwork store on folksy for handcrafted Jewellery using my own Lampwork Creations.

Twilight Apple Earrings

Vampire Fang with blood Earrings. Click on my Folksy Icon. There is another link on my profile to take you to Kilo Lemur Lampwork Shop.

Nothing is going to stop me

2010-08-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

ok, Labyrinthitis did, only briefly. Still have it but not the whooshy head thankfully. Been a little busy making pretties are Lucie would say. Skulls, Kitties, Mushrooms, Hearts, Eyes, Fangs, Apples, Cupcakes...wanna see?

Cupcakes yum! Faux Sea glass Pebbles in Blue and Teal. Skullies with Roses and Hearts on. Fangs with blood dripping off them. Apples, forbidden fruits? Peridot Pandora Style Bead with Sterling silver core. Ribbon Heart with matching Pandora Style Heart. Laters x

Work has ground to a halt!

2010-08-07T04:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have Labyrinthitis and I sort of feel I'm walking about on the North Sea Ferry. I keep losing my balance so I'm not fit to do any work in the studio! Apparently some have this up to 8weeks and some never get rid of it! I bloody well hope not. I have work mounting up and teaching committments what shall I do? Bit fed up all round. I positively hate not being able to create something. Even typing this is making me swooshy and the words are moving about. Yours vertically challenged of Cambridge signing off x

Finished Pandora Style Beads

2010-07-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

Promotional offer of £3 each....Mini Pandora coming soon Laters x

Mooooore Pandora beadies

2010-07-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm in the Zone today!

Pandora Style Beadies

2010-07-27T05:31:00.000-07:00

More Pandora Style Beads.

Kilo Lemur Lampwork is born

2010-07-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

My lampworking studio is now up and running. Just opened a new shop where I will be selling Beads and Pandora Style Beads along with Beaded Jewellery using Kilo Lemur Lampwork.

www.folksy.com/shops/Kilolemurlampwork

First Pandora Style Beads

Laters x

Well, me Lampworking at the torch.

2010-07-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Me at the torch at Celtic Glass in Wales. Ray Skene http://www.celticglass.co.uk/

Here are my creations. The mushrooms and strawberry are my second attempt at the torch. Had a fabulous time today Ceri love ya x

Toltec Wisdom and the Four Agreements

2010-07-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

A book I read many years ago that I am putting in to practise very much so these days

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

— Miguel Ruiz

See your life change unimaginably by indulging in the code of the Toltecs. I'm no longer angry with the injustice I am no longer aggrieved by loss, rather the opposite. I have peace, happiness and tranquility and it will remain so until the day I no longer breathe. ~ K

Sterling Silver and 9ct Gold Pink Topaz Twist Ring.

2010-06-27T04:21:00.000-07:00

Recent make is this Sterling Silver with 9ct Gold twist detail with a Pink Topaz 5mm. Handcrafted gem setting which proved a little tricky since it's so small. I have a commission for something similar but with three gems.

Recent Publication The Dreamcatcher Collection

2010-06-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

My lastest contribution for the Magazine. Designed for the magazine theme 'Tribal' I love Dreamcatchers, so I designed one that can be made to look woven. I've used Turquoise, Ray Skenes Lampwork Beads, Wood Beads and Sterling Silver beads.

This is featured in Making Jewellery Magazine issue 17. I made another one for myself and I will be selling this collection very soon.

I've moved back in!

2010-06-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

The last two days have been manic, well no I've been manic. I've varnished a great deal of workspace and sealed it. I can safely say that I suffered. I was in alot of pain last night after I finished. Today I've sorted out all my bits and bobs and set up my jewellers bench and my office section. I'm well and truly shattered. Got my sound system set up which is a must.

Time for Tesco's oh deep joy.

Adios Folks

I have to share I'm so excited..Triplemoonstar Studio Mark II

2010-06-16T04:15:00.000-07:00

I feel very lucky to have this custom built Jewellers bench and workspace! I'm so excited to get settled in and play in my awesome new work space. It's my 40th Birthday pressie from my Husband and my Mum and Dad. Plus, some cash to get kitted out for my lampworking kit and kiln...spoilt or what? :-) I have the worlds most wonderful husband who spoils me rotten. THE best Mum and Dad who believe in me and have helped provide this opportunity for me to have this facility in our home.

I shall be smiling forever and a day, onwards and upwards.

OK so it's not quite finished. It's almost there

My bench skin slides out for easy access. The other work area will be where I will either teach or work with lampworking.

My bench skin is on a tray that slides underneath.

My studio..

2010-06-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

I'm banished to the kitchen worktop today, my bench, my new work bench is almost finished it's amazing! The 'man' as Lucie calls him hehehe is fitting my leather skin, me thinks he will be swearing soon haha!

The rest of the studio will be fitted so I can use it for lampworking and teaching. I've decided to do some basic teaching on a one to one basis. Although my studio is average size I can fit another two bodies in along side me working together. This is soooo exciting!

I've to upload some more stock in my store today now I have dug out my external hard drive.

Laters

x

Almost there!

2010-06-14T03:21:00.000-07:00

My studio is getting a re-fit tomorrow so I can start my lampworking journey and install my new torch and equipment thanks Hubby, Mum and Dad :-)

Been busy with craft fairs, projects for the magazine, charity work, study, and the bane of my life Fibromyalgia, always at the mercy of that dreaded condition. Still I'm a fighter and I don't give up very easily that's not to say I don't walk away from impossible situations because my energy is precious and I don't waste my time flogging a dead horse. Clear conscience and all that.

We've been so busy decorating our house and re-fitting it with built in wardrobes I love our home but hate all the upside down-ness of it all but we're getting there. Out with the old and in with the new. Quite cathartic actually and therapeutic. The house felt tainted with a stench of lies and betrayal. MFH, CPD, LBD have been fumigated. Surprising how one can fill up a skip with junk.

Two more projects to be published and one more in the pipeline then it will be time for our holidays. Then back to work and I will be working with a new Tutor soon. I'm coming to the end of my course now so I'm looking forward to a break. A well deserved break.

I feel really sad that Amanda lost her battle with Cancer :( I think of you everyday lovely lady and every time I see purple I'm reminded of you and your strength and great spirit. You will live on in our hearts and the colour of our lives. Such a beautiful person and you will remain so. RIP Amanda xxx

Life is unfair when this cruel disease takes away someone so wonderful, took her away from her children and her adoring husband. It makes you think what really is important in life. The ones that love you and look out for you all the rest can go to hell. I have wonderful friends who have been really supportive and have been there. I'm blessed with my husband and three children, and not forgetting my Mum and Dad you've all been my rock through every thing.

For Amanda and Family xxx

Lonelies Prize Draw

2010-05-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

Lonelies Prize Draw

Join the prize draw at Beads by Laura click on the link and enter. Check out Laura's gorgeous beadies.

Just finished the project for issue 18, now to start of issue 19...hmmm

Beadies that I have yet to create something with

2010-05-07T04:22:00.001-07:00

My lampworking buddies have made these beads and they are stunning yet I have to create something with them..

The spotty coloured beads are by Dee from Cherry Obsidia. The deep red with a snake skin look are by Dee again.

The bumpy hollows are by Ray Skene from http://www.celticglass.co.uk/ who I had the pleasure of meeting at the flame off. A lovely talented guy. I can only hope to be as talented one day. Although I have been assured I will pick it up fast LOL! hmm Well after watching Ray created the most amazing pieces with Glass I guess that sort of talented doesn't just get 'picked up' but we shall see. I know I picked up the Silversmithing and Jewellery making fairly easily, I'm not sure if that is natural talent or just an understanding on a deeper level but I seem to have no difficulty in creating exactly what I want. I love love love my work my only regret is that I didn't discover this sooner. My goal is to create all my pieces by hand, beads included...I'm lucky that I have full support of my husband and family. I'm at my happiest when I'm creating. It gives me an outlet for my very busy mind and being Bipolar it's a plus to have that outlet.

Time to blog..

2010-05-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last blogged! Ye Gods this sounds like a confession..it isn't honest :-)

After the last Fibro flare up I am now in another one just a few days after the long one. However I shall not be beaten by Fibro I LAUGH in your face Fibro *take that* Ha haaaaar

It's my daughters 15th birthday today, I made her a ring. Heart of Gold ring, Sterling Silver and 18ct Gold Heart, stamped inside 'of Gold' and her birth date 7th May. She loves it!

And, I've just figured out how to upload photographs. I have lots to upload :-)

Soon, I'll have my studio re-vamped so I can start working with Glass and make my own beadies! I can't wait! I've decided I'm going to start with a hothead, lots of people make stunning beads with a hothead and after all I'm a beginner.

Even though I've had a little go at making beads or should I say slightly odd shaped blobs lol! The set up I was using was not ideal but it was such fun.

after 17 days

2010-04-26T03:43:00.001-07:00

It's finally coming to a close until next time...*sighs*

I'm writing up my article for the Magazine now I have a clear head and not in so much pain gaaah! Hoping to get it finished today.

Very proud of my latest project I really love it. Sometimes I make something yet I wouldn't wear it, not because I dont like it, just that it is not my style. I prefer a much bolder piece of Jewellery..hardly anything delicate about me lol!

to be cont...

Fibromyalgia and daily doings

2010-04-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

It's taken over my life at present. In mid flow of a flare up. Monosodium Glutamate seems to be one of my triggers so I will have to scour food contents for this ingredient, it seems to aggravate my illness ten fold!

So, back to my Rheumatologist and referal to the pain clinic I shall go. The new painkillers have worked wonders today though, going from a pain level off the scale to a 2!

My work for the magazine is slowly coming but I am at the mercy of my body and this rotten illness.

My amazon ordered arrived today so while I'm taking it easy I can read my new books so it's not all bad. Plus I can indulge in my lampworking books too :-)

After the Flame off it has been decided that my next hobby shall be indeed working with Glass and making Lampwork Beads. Thankfully I've managed to persuade a good buddy of mine to do some basics with me in return for some silver work tuition from me great trade me thinks. I need to have a decent play before I shell out on some cash for all the equipment that I'll need. Already talked with the hubby about the redesign of my studio so it seems I can easily fit in both, Lampworking and Silversmithing in one area! With the full backing of my husband and family.

Right, time to go and rest now

Adios folks

xxx

Flame off!

2010-04-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

Getting all my things ready for the Flame off tomorrow to meet some of my new buddies there! Ceri and Fay coming along for the ride too. Tomorrow I shall try not to set anyone on fire but I will have a play hopefully!

I'm leaving my credit card at home too! Very dangerous thingie to have with me while visiting other creative people and their wares arggh!!!!!! Although my bank will rub their hands with glee..

Projects for the magazine nearly finished I'm kinda pooped. I think a cuddle with my hubby and we shall settle down for a Vampire Diaries festie

A big shout to Emily Skull and Crossbuns for blogging my work and for me finding this blog today I know you had more questions than question time but I prefer this blog to the other one I had. Although I'm still trying to fathom it out LOL

I will be working on more beaded jewels soon once I get my committments finished with.

Adios folks

xxx

Need a break

2010-04-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Spent a while faffing with these buttons!!! I wonder if there is anymore cake left?

I have no idea what I am doing..

2010-04-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

Well sort of..only a little..